Operation: Thriving Marriage

Ep 47 - Why You Shouldn’t Get Married

Debunking Unrealistic Marriage Expectations

Join us for a thought-provoking episode as we dissect the common motivations behind marriage decisions and evaluate whether these expectations hold up in reality. Delve into the realm of marriage misconceptions and uncover its deeper purpose.

**The Issue - Challenging Unrealistic Marriage Beliefs:**
Embark on a journey to explore the misconceptions that often drive individuals to seek marriage, including unfounded beliefs in assured financial stability, complete emotional fulfillment, and an end to loneliness. We unpack these notions to uncover their true validity.

**The Truth - Unveiling Biblical Insights:**
Discover how a biblical perspective on marriage reveals a stark contrast to popular misconceptions. We dive into passages such as Proverbs 18:22, Genesis 2:24, and Proverbs 19:14, shedding light on marriage's intended purpose as a divine gift and a partnership to fulfill a greater human purpose.

**Realignment - Purposeful Conversations and Compatibility:**
For those considering marriage, we emphasize the importance of candid discussions around expectations. Is your desire for marriage rooted in societal norms or a shared commitment to align with God's divine plan? The key is to find a partner who shares your vision for a purpose-driven marriage.

**Harmonizing Passion and Purpose:**
Challenge the notion that focusing on marriage's purpose diminishes passion and romance. Uncover how aligning with God's intent can actually amplify intimacy within a relationship. By understanding that marriage cultivates holiness, romance flows naturally, unburdened by unrealistic pressures.

**Assessing Your Marriage:**
For couples already united in marriage, it's time for reflection. Does your marital experience match your expectations? Are your expectations in harmony with God's blueprint? Whether celebrating alignment or addressing disparities, this is an opportunity for growth and connection.

**Conclusion - Unveiling the True Marriage Purpose:**
Navigate the sea of unrealistic expectations surrounding marriage and rediscover the essence of a thriving partnership. The key lies in syncing expectations with God's design. Embrace marriage as a platform to reflect God's love and fulfill a larger purpose, transcending fleeting notions for lasting fulfillment.

Tune in to this enlightening conversation, where we challenge conventional wisdom and explore the profound depths of marriage's authentic essence.

 

Ep 46 - Anniversary Edition

A lot of podcasts talk about why marriage is important and insight into how to stay marriage. We often forget to talk about how much fun it is to be married. In this episode, Bryon and Jen celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary with the audience telling stories about their wedding day and sharing some of the things they enjoy about being married. 

Ep 45 - Pornography

Welcome to episode 45 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, airing on July 31, 2023. In this thought-provoking podcast, we address the pervasive issue of pornography within Christian culture. We examine conflicting data on pornography usage among Christians and its detrimental effects on relationships and marriages.

Throughout the episode, we explore the negative impacts of pornography, such as negative body image, addiction, and unrealistic sexual expectations. Drawing from biblical passages, we emphasize that using porn is considered a sin.

Our aim is to provide a solution for dealing with the shame surrounding pornography. We remind listeners that God's love and forgiveness are ever-present, encouraging them to confess their struggles to God and fellow believers. By bringing this issue into the light, its power can be diminished.

We offer practical steps to combat pornography, including repentance, accountability structures, and software to block access. Additionally, we highlight the importance of addressing underlying issues that may drive one towards porn use and seeking professional help when necessary.

In conclusion, we assert that pornography is inherently harmful, and any amount of its use should be avoided. However, we stress that individuals are not irredeemable; they are deeply loved by God. By harnessing the power of the Holy Spirit, one can find the strength to overcome pornography's hold on their life. Join us for this empowering episode as we seek healing and restoration together.

Ep 44 - What Makes a Good Apology?

In this episode hosts Bryon and Jen delve into the significance of apologies in fostering healthy relationships. Despite lawyers often discouraging apologies due to potential legal implications, Bryon and Jen explore how apologies are essential for healing the rifts caused by our actions.

They confront prevalent misconceptions about apologies, such as the mistaken belief that saying sorry signifies weakness or admitting liability. Additionally, they debunk the idea of superficial apologies aimed at merely escaping discomfort. By addressing these misconceptions, they shed light on how such notions compound the damage and create distance in relationships, hindering the necessary growth and intimacy for a thriving marriage.

Presenting a solution, Bryon and Jen emphasize that a meaningful apology extends beyond a mere "I'm sorry." It involves a heartfelt confession that acknowledges wrongdoing, takes full accountability for one's actions, and expresses genuine remorse for the resulting negative outcomes. They discuss two common examples of ineffective apologies: the "I'm sorry but..." approach commonly seen in children, and the dismissive "I'm sorry you feel that way" frequently used between spouses. By exploring these flawed apologies, they highlight how they fail to accept responsibility, invalidate feelings, and deny personal involvement in the negative consequences.

Drawing from personal experiences, Bryon shares instances where he unintentionally hurt Jen's feelings, emphasizing the importance of recognizing that his actions caused pain, irrespective of intent. He emphasizes that a sincere apology acknowledges the direct link between one's actions and the resulting consequences, stating, "I deeply regret that my actions led to this negative outcome."

In conclusion, Bryon and Jen underscore that healthy relationships thrive on confession, repentance, and forgiveness, with genuine apologies playing a vital role. They highlight the significance of admitting mistakes, taking responsibility, and expressing authentic remorse for the damage caused. By practicing sincere apologies, listeners can foster stronger marriages and relationships.

Join Bryon and Jen as they navigate the intricacies of apologies, inspiring listeners to cultivate a culture of accountability and healing within their own relationships.

Ep 43 - Struggling for Control

Join us in this episode as we delve into the challenges couples face in maintaining self-determination while becoming a cohesive unit in marriage. Though the ideal is unity, it's natural for both partners to desire independence and resist control.

Tracing the roots of the struggle for control, we find it originates from the fall and the introduction of sin and selfishness. Through interviews with couples in crisis, we witness the common thread of control issues leading to conflicts in various aspects of their lives.

However, we emphasize that controlling behavior is contrary to God's plan. It encompasses harmful actions like violence, intimidation, manipulation, and abuse, all of which are unacceptable and sinful.

To overcome struggles for control, we offer a three-step approach: stop using controlling behavior, confess the wrongdoing to your partner, and genuinely seek forgiveness. Repentance is essential, where couples learn to communicate their needs lovingly and work together to find common ground.

For more deeply rooted patterns of control, seeking guidance from a marriage coach or counselor is encouraged. Addressing such issues proactively can help couples build a stronger and healthier relationship.

Our utmost priority is to address the seriousness of abuse. It should never be considered normal or tolerated. In situations of abuse, immediate action is necessary to ensure safety and seek professional help.

In conclusion, let's remember that marriage is a partnership built on sacrificial love and mutual respect. Embracing freedom while honoring each other's self-determination can lead to a fulfilling and harmonious relationship. On this Independence Day, let's celebrate not just America's freedom but also the freedom within our marriages.

Ep 42 - Let’s Talk About Money

In this episode, we delve into the often difficult and taboo subject of money within marriages. We explore the challenges of discussing finances and provide strategies to strengthen relationships through open and honest conversations. Research shows that while money may not be the main cause of divorce, it is a significant contributor to marital stress. The key issue lies in differing values around money, exacerbated by a lack of communication. To address this, we suggest presuming goodwill in your partner's intentions, focusing on strategic discussions about values and goals, and avoiding weaponizing financial conflicts. Seeking the assistance of a financial planner can also provide guidance in making tactical decisions aligned with your financial strategy. By emphasizing strategy over tactics and fostering healthy financial conversations, couples can build stronger marriages.

https://newsroom.breadfinancial.com/making-cents-of-love-and-money

Ep 41 - Marriage on Mission

In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the concept of "mission" and its different meanings. One host, with a military background, associates mission with combat and military objectives. However, the other host highlights the common Christian perspective of mission, which is often focused on evangelism and spreading the gospel.

They emphasize that the mission of humanity goes beyond evangelism and is rooted in representing God on Earth. They refer to Genesis and temple themes to illustrate that humans were created to rule and represent God. They argue that mission existed before sin and should encompass more than just evangelizing neighbors or ensuring one's children become Christians.

The hosts point out two common misconceptions about mission. Firstly, some individuals limit mission to actively evangelizing neighbors, disregarding other aspects of mission. Secondly, many couples overlook the role of mission in their marriage, failing to realize that their marriage is part of God's larger purpose.

They propose the idea of a "thriving marriage on a mission" and highlight the importance of recognizing the objectives God has for couples. By embracing their marriage as part of God's mission, couples can experience fulfillment and effectively fulfill the good works prepared for them.

The episode concludes with a recommendation for listeners to spend time praying and meditating on Genesis 1:26-28, reflecting on what God reveals to them about their mission as a couple.

Ep 40 - Does Your Marriage Make You Happy?

In this episode of the Operation Thriving Marriage podcast, the hosts delve into the topic of happiness and its connection to thriving marriages. They begin by sharing quotes from ancient philosophers, one suggesting that true happiness is only attainable after death and the other emphasizing the impossibility of achieving happiness in our present lives. This leads to a discussion about society’s strong belief in the pursuit and attainment of happiness, especially in America where it is deeply ingrained in our identity. The hosts highlight how marital stress often manifests as unhappiness and reference an article on the changing landscape of happiness in America. They shift the focus to the purpose of marriage, emphasizing that it is not solely about happiness but about fostering holiness and personal growth. By becoming more holy, couples are better equipped to fulfill God’s plans for their lives, which in turn leads to a sense of peace and joy. Through exploring the complex relationship between happiness and thriving marriages, the hosts aim to provide listeners with a broader perspective on the subject.

 

https://time.com/6244240/happiness-america-history/?utm_medium=social-paid&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=consumermarketing-anyword+engagement+all&utm_content=content+anyword21+pv1+na+na+na+na&kwp_0=2239496&kwp_4=6354266&kwp_1=2730027&fbclid=IwAR2ku3CL19PgtUxkuw5i_hP5KCddP24k0usGv9MaArBzeEaevvl_UJfj_wk

Ep 39 - When Love Languages Collide

In this episode of the Operation Thriving Marriage Podcast, Bryon and Jennifer discuss the concept of love languages and how they can differ between individuals in a relationship. They highlight the importance of understanding and accepting these differences to avoid conflict and misunderstandings. The hosts also delve into the challenges that arise when love languages collide, particularly when one partner's love language makes the other uncomfortable. They suggest that communication is key to navigating this issue and offer tips on how to do so effectively, such as translating one's partner's actions into their love language and trying to love one's partner in the way they want to be loved. Ultimately, the hosts emphasize that love is more than just a feeling and that having the attitude and taking action towards loving one's partner is crucial for a healthy marriage.

Ep 38 - Be A Man

In culture today there are a lot of competing messages about masculinity. It gets even trickier when you start listening to different people try to define biblical masculinity. In this episode we focus on what the Bible does say about masculinity and highlight areas that are often presented as biblical but where the Bible is actually silent. We then try to give men some direction on how to be the husbands God has called them to be.

In this episode we reference the book Of Boys And Men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It by Richard Reeves