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It‘s not enough to have your marriage survive. We want your marriage to thrive! Bringing unique perspectives from counseling individuals and couples in the church, the law, and the military, Bryon and Jennifer Harvey bring a wealth of experience and perspective to Operation: Thriving Marriage.
Episodes
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Welcome to Episode 52 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, "Happy!" While we often say marriage isn't about happiness, we delve into why it's crucial to prioritize happiness correctly. Unhappiness can lead to dissatisfaction, conflicts, and decreased problem-solving abilities in a marriage.
We discuss the problem of declining happiness in the US and worldwide, emphasizing the importance of happiness for making better decisions, resilience, health, and more.
Our solution focuses on improving your happiness by taking responsibility for it. We introduce the CPR method – Connection, Positivity, and Resilience. We stress the role of human connections, positivity in savoring enjoyable experiences, and self-care for resilience.
In the end, we reiterate that marriage is about holiness, but happiness matters too. You are responsible for your happiness, and by focusing on CPR, you can improve it. For more information, check out the articles linked below.
Tune in to learn how to lead a happier and more fulfilling life in your marriage and beyond.
How to Live a Happier Mor Fulfilling Life interview with Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas
How Happy Marriages Stay Happy by Virginia Pelley
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Monday Oct 23, 2023
In episode 51 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, Bryon and Jennifer shares thoughts on the tricky subject of prenuptial agreements. Prenuptial agreements have gotten a very bad wrap in the evangelical church. It’s often said that couples should not get them because they should not be planning for their divorce.
Marriage is sacred to be entered into with the commitment that you will stay together for your entire lifetime. Divorce is not God’s plan for marriage. Prenuptial agreements are not just about divorce. As a lawyer Jen has advised clients to get prenuptial agreements for various reasons most often related to business succession planning and estate planning. In this episode Bryon and Jen cover those issues and what sort of protections were in place for women in the Bible as well. We hope you enjoy this episode.
Monday Oct 09, 2023
Monday Oct 09, 2023
In this milestone 50th episode, airing on October 9, 2023, of "Communication Breakdowns," we dive deep into the critical topic of communication breakdowns within marriages. Host Jen starts by sharing a personal example of a case where communication faltered, highlighting the importance of effective communication in relationships.
Discover the root causes of communication breakdowns in marriages, with a focus on resentment. Explore the emotions of resenting your spouse or feeling resented by them and uncover practical solutions for addressing these issues head-on. Learn how to deal with feelings of resentment, even when they stem from seemingly trivial reasons, and understand the role of negative thought patterns.
The episode also sheds light on how unresolved conflicts can snowball into more significant problems, emphasizing the importance of addressing issues early, honestly, and thoroughly. Bryon and Jen touch on the common issue of arguments expanding to unrelated matters and provide insights into their underlying causes.
Additionally, you'll delve into the essential link between communication and intimacy in a marriage. Discover how a lack of communication can impact intimacy and vice versa. Learn the art of active listening, focusing on the emotions behind the words, and how to communicate on a deeper level by discussing dreams, hopes, feelings, and desires with your partner.
In conclusion, this episode underscores the paramount role of communication in building a thriving marriage. It reminds listeners that negative forces may try to drive a wedge between partners, but the effort to nurture a strong and healthy marriage is undoubtedly worth it. Explore strategies to address resentment, resolve conflicts promptly, and connect deeply with your spouse to create a marriage that stands the test of time.
Monday Sep 25, 2023
Monday Sep 25, 2023
Welcome to the Operation: Thriving Marriage podcast. In this episode we dive deep into the importance of maintaining balanced and healthy friendships within your marriage. In today's fast-paced world, many of us fall into the trap of believing that our spouse should fulfill all our friendship needs. But is that realistic? This podcast explores the problem with this unrealistic expectation, how it can put excessive pressure on your spouse, and even separate you from your broader community.
Join us as we discuss the biblical perspective on friendships, drawing inspiration from the profound relationships of David and Jonathan, Jesus and His disciples, God and His people, and many more. Discover how these timeless examples reveal that friendship is a core value and a vital component of a thriving marriage.
We'll uncover the benefits of fostering friendships within your marriage, such as staying connected to your community, having models of healthy relationships, receiving wise counsel, and enjoying activities that your spouse may not share the same interest in. These friendships also contribute to maintaining your individual identity within your marriage, which is essential for both partners.
But what about situations when friendships become threatening? We'll provide practical guidance on prioritizing your spouse, setting boundaries with friends of the opposite sex, and ensuring that your marriage remains the top priority. The evil one can use friendships to harm your marriage if you're not vigilant.
In conclusion, we challenge the misconception that spouses should meet all each other's relational needs. Embracing the biblical perspective, we believe in the significance of being in a community of believers, sharing the Gospel with those outside the church, and experiencing the fullness of life God intends for you. While friendships are vital, we emphasize that they should never jeopardize your marriage. Your marriage can and should be the most important friendship you have.
Tuesday Sep 12, 2023
Tuesday Sep 12, 2023
In this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, we dive deep into the essential element of any thriving relationship - mutual respect. We'll start by asking a fundamental question: Who do you respect, and why? Join us as we explore how respect plays a pivotal role in maintaining strong and healthy connections.
When we talk to couples in crisis, a recurring theme emerges - the erosion of mutual respect. Love may still linger, but the loss of respect can have devastating consequences. We acknowledge the stereotypes that suggest women need love while men need respect, but in reality, both genders crave both. Respect is the foundation on which love can flourish.
Failure to communicate respect conveys a lack of value and equality in a relationship. Each spouse brings unique qualities and roles to a marriage, but they are equal partners. When respect dwindles, resentment takes root, leading to a gradual distancing between partners and strife in all aspects of the marriage.
To rebuild and maintain mutual respect, we must first recognize that our spouse deserves our respect as a person of infinite worth. They've committed to us and our marriage to represent something greater together. Beyond this, we must respect our spouse for who they are, not just what they do, as valuing them solely for their actions objectifies and dehumanizes them.
Here are some practical ways to express respect to your spouse:
1. Validation: Communicate what you value about them, both in their actions and as individuals.
2. Curiosity: Ask open-ended questions about their thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams.
3. Play to Strengths: Recognize that a 50/50 approach doesn't always make sense; let your spouse excel in their areas of strength.
4. Communication: Set aside time to talk and connect regularly.
In the grand scheme of marriage, mutual respect is the cornerstone upon which everything else stands. When respect withers, so does the partnership. Make it a priority to respect your spouse for who they are, and learn how to convey that respect effectively. By doing so, you can breathe new life into your marriage and watch it thrive. Join us next time on [Podcast Name] as we continue to explore essential aspects of relationships.
Monday Aug 28, 2023
Monday Aug 28, 2023
Debunking Unrealistic Marriage Expectations
Join us for a thought-provoking episode as we dissect the common motivations behind marriage decisions and evaluate whether these expectations hold up in reality. Delve into the realm of marriage misconceptions and uncover its deeper purpose.
**The Issue - Challenging Unrealistic Marriage Beliefs:**
Embark on a journey to explore the misconceptions that often drive individuals to seek marriage, including unfounded beliefs in assured financial stability, complete emotional fulfillment, and an end to loneliness. We unpack these notions to uncover their true validity.
**The Truth - Unveiling Biblical Insights:**
Discover how a biblical perspective on marriage reveals a stark contrast to popular misconceptions. We dive into passages such as Proverbs 18:22, Genesis 2:24, and Proverbs 19:14, shedding light on marriage's intended purpose as a divine gift and a partnership to fulfill a greater human purpose.
**Realignment - Purposeful Conversations and Compatibility:**
For those considering marriage, we emphasize the importance of candid discussions around expectations. Is your desire for marriage rooted in societal norms or a shared commitment to align with God's divine plan? The key is to find a partner who shares your vision for a purpose-driven marriage.
**Harmonizing Passion and Purpose:**
Challenge the notion that focusing on marriage's purpose diminishes passion and romance. Uncover how aligning with God's intent can actually amplify intimacy within a relationship. By understanding that marriage cultivates holiness, romance flows naturally, unburdened by unrealistic pressures.
**Assessing Your Marriage:**
For couples already united in marriage, it's time for reflection. Does your marital experience match your expectations? Are your expectations in harmony with God's blueprint? Whether celebrating alignment or addressing disparities, this is an opportunity for growth and connection.
**Conclusion - Unveiling the True Marriage Purpose:**
Navigate the sea of unrealistic expectations surrounding marriage and rediscover the essence of a thriving partnership. The key lies in syncing expectations with God's design. Embrace marriage as a platform to reflect God's love and fulfill a larger purpose, transcending fleeting notions for lasting fulfillment.
Tune in to this enlightening conversation, where we challenge conventional wisdom and explore the profound depths of marriage's authentic essence.
Monday Aug 14, 2023
Monday Aug 14, 2023
A lot of podcasts talk about why marriage is important and insight into how to stay marriage. We often forget to talk about how much fun it is to be married. In this episode, Bryon and Jen celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary with the audience telling stories about their wedding day and sharing some of the things they enjoy about being married.
Monday Jul 31, 2023
Monday Jul 31, 2023
Welcome to episode 45 of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, airing on July 31, 2023. In this thought-provoking podcast, we address the pervasive issue of pornography within Christian culture. We examine conflicting data on pornography usage among Christians and its detrimental effects on relationships and marriages.
Throughout the episode, we explore the negative impacts of pornography, such as negative body image, addiction, and unrealistic sexual expectations. Drawing from biblical passages, we emphasize that using porn is considered a sin.
Our aim is to provide a solution for dealing with the shame surrounding pornography. We remind listeners that God's love and forgiveness are ever-present, encouraging them to confess their struggles to God and fellow believers. By bringing this issue into the light, its power can be diminished.
We offer practical steps to combat pornography, including repentance, accountability structures, and software to block access. Additionally, we highlight the importance of addressing underlying issues that may drive one towards porn use and seeking professional help when necessary.
In conclusion, we assert that pornography is inherently harmful, and any amount of its use should be avoided. However, we stress that individuals are not irredeemable; they are deeply loved by God. By harnessing the power of the Holy Spirit, one can find the strength to overcome pornography's hold on their life. Join us for this empowering episode as we seek healing and restoration together.
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Monday Jul 17, 2023
In this episode hosts Bryon and Jen delve into the significance of apologies in fostering healthy relationships. Despite lawyers often discouraging apologies due to potential legal implications, Bryon and Jen explore how apologies are essential for healing the rifts caused by our actions.
They confront prevalent misconceptions about apologies, such as the mistaken belief that saying sorry signifies weakness or admitting liability. Additionally, they debunk the idea of superficial apologies aimed at merely escaping discomfort. By addressing these misconceptions, they shed light on how such notions compound the damage and create distance in relationships, hindering the necessary growth and intimacy for a thriving marriage.
Presenting a solution, Bryon and Jen emphasize that a meaningful apology extends beyond a mere "I'm sorry." It involves a heartfelt confession that acknowledges wrongdoing, takes full accountability for one's actions, and expresses genuine remorse for the resulting negative outcomes. They discuss two common examples of ineffective apologies: the "I'm sorry but..." approach commonly seen in children, and the dismissive "I'm sorry you feel that way" frequently used between spouses. By exploring these flawed apologies, they highlight how they fail to accept responsibility, invalidate feelings, and deny personal involvement in the negative consequences.
Drawing from personal experiences, Bryon shares instances where he unintentionally hurt Jen's feelings, emphasizing the importance of recognizing that his actions caused pain, irrespective of intent. He emphasizes that a sincere apology acknowledges the direct link between one's actions and the resulting consequences, stating, "I deeply regret that my actions led to this negative outcome."
In conclusion, Bryon and Jen underscore that healthy relationships thrive on confession, repentance, and forgiveness, with genuine apologies playing a vital role. They highlight the significance of admitting mistakes, taking responsibility, and expressing authentic remorse for the damage caused. By practicing sincere apologies, listeners can foster stronger marriages and relationships.
Join Bryon and Jen as they navigate the intricacies of apologies, inspiring listeners to cultivate a culture of accountability and healing within their own relationships.
Monday Jul 03, 2023
Monday Jul 03, 2023
Join us in this episode as we delve into the challenges couples face in maintaining self-determination while becoming a cohesive unit in marriage. Though the ideal is unity, it's natural for both partners to desire independence and resist control.
Tracing the roots of the struggle for control, we find it originates from the fall and the introduction of sin and selfishness. Through interviews with couples in crisis, we witness the common thread of control issues leading to conflicts in various aspects of their lives.
However, we emphasize that controlling behavior is contrary to God's plan. It encompasses harmful actions like violence, intimidation, manipulation, and abuse, all of which are unacceptable and sinful.
To overcome struggles for control, we offer a three-step approach: stop using controlling behavior, confess the wrongdoing to your partner, and genuinely seek forgiveness. Repentance is essential, where couples learn to communicate their needs lovingly and work together to find common ground.
For more deeply rooted patterns of control, seeking guidance from a marriage coach or counselor is encouraged. Addressing such issues proactively can help couples build a stronger and healthier relationship.
Our utmost priority is to address the seriousness of abuse. It should never be considered normal or tolerated. In situations of abuse, immediate action is necessary to ensure safety and seek professional help.
In conclusion, let's remember that marriage is a partnership built on sacrificial love and mutual respect. Embracing freedom while honoring each other's self-determination can lead to a fulfilling and harmonious relationship. On this Independence Day, let's celebrate not just America's freedom but also the freedom within our marriages.