Operation: Thriving Marriage

Ep 72 - Can I Still Be Friends With My Ex?

**Podcast Episode Notes for "Operation: Thriving Marriage"**  
**Episode 72: Can I Still Be Friends With My Ex?**

**Introduction**  
- Is it possible or wise to stay friends with an ex? How do different people feel about maintaining such relationships, especially within the context of a marriage? In today’s episode, we’ll dive into these questions, explore the complexities of relationships with exes, and discuss how they can impact your marriage.

**The Problem: Almost Everyone Has an Ex**  
- Whether it’s someone you dated before marriage or a former spouse after divorce, ex-partners often linger in the background.  
- Feelings toward exes vary widely—from intense dislike to lingering affection.  
- These relationships are inherently different from other friendships because they once involved romantic or sexual intimacy.  
- This unique history with an ex can influence how your spouse perceives that relationship.  
- If children are involved, the situation can become even more complicated, which we will address later.

**The Solution: Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?**  
- There is nothing in Scripture that forbids maintaining a friendship with an ex. The common Christian marriage vow to “forsake all others” refers to sexual exclusivity, not friendships. Hebrews 13:4 emphasizes the importance of maintaining sexual purity in marriage.  
- While the Bible does not explicitly prohibit friendships with exes, maintaining a *close* relationship can be unwise for several reasons:
    - It may make your spouse feel undervalued or less unique.
    - Spending time with an ex could rekindle old feelings, leading to potential problems.
    - Ask yourself: Why do you want to stay in touch? Are you looking for something from your ex that should come from your spouse? This is a crucial conversation to have with your partner if that’s the case.

**Co-Parenting With an Ex**  
- Co-parenting presents a unique dynamic. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your ex is essential for your children’s well-being.  
- However, it’s equally important for all parties—your spouse, children, and ex—to understand that your current spouse takes priority in your life.  
- If you’re a step-parent, supporting your spouse’s healthy co-parenting relationship with their ex is crucial for the success of your blended family.

**Conclusion**  
- There’s no biblical mandate to cut ties with an ex, but it’s wise to carefully evaluate the nature of that relationship. Maintaining a strong, healthy marriage means putting your spouse second only to God. An ongoing close relationship with an ex could create unnecessary tensions or even harm your marriage, unless co-parenting requires continued interaction.

Keywords: Friends with exes, marriage advice, Christian marriage, staying friends with an ex, co-parenting with ex, biblical view on ex-relationships, maintaining marriage, forsaking all others, step-parenting, marriage and exes.

Ep 71 - What Does the Bible Really Say About Marital Submission

**Introduction**

Welcome to another episode of *Operation: Thriving Marriage*. Today, we're diving into one of the most challenging and divisive topics in Christian marriage—submission. Bryon and Jen explore why submission stirs such strong reactions and what it really means from a biblical perspective.

**Why Submission is a Major Issue**

Bryon asks Jen why she thinks submission is such a contentious topic in Christian marriages. Jen explains that there are two primary reasons for this:

1. **Historical Abuses Against Women**: The concept of submission is often rejected as outdated and harmful because of past abuses that have subjugated women.
   
2. **Misunderstanding of Biblical Submission**: Many people, including some pastors and church leaders, do not fully understand what biblical submission entails. This misunderstanding can lead to a variety of issues, including:
   - **Unbiblical Restrictions on Women**: These restrictions can prevent women from fulfilling the roles and callings God has for them.
   - **Misinterpretation of Scripture**: Misunderstandings can lead to incorrect interpretations and doctrines, which misrepresent Christ and hinder outreach efforts.

**The Problems with Misunderstanding Submission**

When people dismiss biblical submission as harmful, they often draw false conclusions about Jesus and Christianity, missing the beauty and truth of God's teachings. Misunderstanding biblical submission can result in:

1. **Unbiblical Restrictions**: Preventing women from achieving their full potential in Christ.
   
2. **Misinterpretations of Scripture**: Leading to flawed doctrines that can distort the gospel.
   
3. **False Representations of Christ**: Making it harder to attract others to God's kingdom.

**Understanding Biblical Submission (Ephesians 5)**

To clarify what biblical submission really means, Bryon and Jen turn to one of the most commonly discussed passages: Ephesians 5:15-28. They emphasize that:

1. **Continuity of Thought**: Many Bibles incorrectly separate verse 21 ("submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ") from verse 22 ("Wives, submit to your husbands"), but these verses are part of the same continuous thought. Verse 22 and beyond, often referred to as the household code, provide practical applications of the preceding teachings within the home.

2. **Submission vs. Subservience**: Submission is often overemphasized in verse 22, leading to misunderstandings. Paul’s teachings in this passage do not suggest that women are inferior or that submission equates to subservience. Instead, biblical submission is about mutual respect and love, modeled after the relationship between Christ and the Church.

3. **Submission Does Not Define Roles**: Submission does not dictate that women must be homemakers or refrain from working outside the home. It is also not something that can be forced; Christ doesn’t force the Church to submit, and the Church submits out of love, not fear.

4. **Headship as Responsibility, Not Privilege**: Headship is often misinterpreted as a position of privilege, but Paul presents it as a position of responsibility. Husbands are called to serve their families as Christ served the Church, even to the point of self-sacrifice.

**Conclusion**

In conclusion, Bryon and Jen encourage listeners not to look for a prescribed way to live out submission and headship in their marriage because the Bible doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, they urge couples to seek understanding and guidance from Scripture and to work together to apply biblical teachings in their unique circumstances. When submission and headship are understood correctly, they become a way to glorify Christ rather than a burden to bear.

If you have questions or need further guidance on this topic, we encourage you to seek godly counsel from your local church community. Remember, living out biblical principles in your marriage isn’t about following cultural norms; it’s about following Christ.

Thank you for listening to *Operation: Thriving Marriage*. Don’t forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave us a review. See you next time!

Ep 70 - Sex After Kids

**Episode 70: Sex After Kids**

In this episode of *Operation: Thriving Marriage*, we tackle the challenge of keeping intimacy alive after having children. Sex is essential for a strong marriage, fostering connection, happiness, and intimacy. However, once kids enter the picture, maintaining a healthy sex life can feel nearly impossible. Privacy disappears, interruptions are constant, and bedtime routines become a battle. Yet, a thriving sex life is crucial for a thriving marriage, and we’re here to help.

Tune in as we share practical strategies to protect your intimacy. Learn how to plan sex dates, enforce bedtime rules, and prioritize your relationship, even in the midst of parenting. Don’t let kids be the reason your connection suffers—discover how to keep the romance alive and ensure a strong, lasting marriage.

Ep 69 - I Feel More Like a Roommate than a Spouse

In this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast we answer another listener question. In this episode Deanna asked how to deal with the dreaded roommate phase. She says she feels more a roommate than a wife. This is a difficult but common experience for couples especially after 3 - 5 years of marriage. It’s uncomfortable in the moment, but as you build your communication skills you will find new ways to connect and build intimacy that will make your marriage stronger than it was before. This episode provides insight and advice on how to do exactly that.

Ep 68 - Friends, Finances, and Your Marriage

In Episode 69 of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we focus on how friendships impact the financial health of a marriage. Jen shares personal stories about how her friends influence her relationship and finances, reflecting Jimmy Evans' insight from XO Marriage that our friends shape our future. We delve into Biblical teachings that highlight the importance of healthy, God-designed relationships, emphasizing that financial decisions are crucial within these dynamics.

We address the challenge of friends who negatively affect our finances, especially in today’s social media-driven world. Friends often showcase their extravagant lifestyles online, leading to feelings of inadequacy and financial strain. We discuss the pressure to match their spending on dinners, activities, and vacations, which can cause tension and stress in marriages.

To navigate these challenges, we offer practical solutions. Your financial decisions as a couple should reflect your values, goals, and the example you wish to set. We emphasize the importance of contentment and aligning financial goals with Scripture. Learn to celebrate your friends' successes without falling into discontentment and make wise choices about the people who influence your financial habits.

In conclusion, as Christians, we are called to be different through how we live and manage our finances. Let your financial decisions glorify God and reflect His kingdom. Tune in for insightful discussions on managing friendships and finances in your marriage.

**Keywords: Financial Health in Marriage, Marriage and Finances, Social Media Influence, Biblical Financial Guidance, Christian Financial Management, Contentment in Marriage, Marriage Advice Podcast**

Ep 67 - Through the Eyes of a Child

In this enlightening episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage podcast, we turn the spotlight on our first guests - our kids! Join us as we dive into the world of marriage from a child's perspective, exploring their candid thoughts, heartfelt observations, and innocent wisdom about what it takes to build a thriving marriage. 

Our kids share their views on love, partnership, and what they've learned from watching us navigate the ups and downs of married life. This heartwarming and insightful episode offers a refreshing look at marriage through the eyes of the next generation. Whether you're a

Ep 66 - Spicing Things Up

In this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage Podcast, we answer a listener question. Megen asked “How to spice things up in marriage without cheating.”

Marriages all go through phase in sex and intimacy. There are times when sex is less frequent than one or both of you desire. There are also times when the sex is not as fulfilling as one or both of you would like it to be. These are normal struggles in marriage. Cheating will not solve those problems. Cheating can only lead to hurt and pain in a marriage.

In this episode we talk about different ways to spice up the sex in your marriage. One of the most important things is to discuss sex together and communicate what you want and need. Other ideas include ways of being more sexy towards each other and planning a sex date.

Please keep the questions coming. We love to hear from you. You can contact us at OperationThrivingMarriage.com. We hope you enjoy this episode and come up with new ways to spice things up in your own marriage.

Ep 65 - Flood of Anger

Welcome to Operation: Thriving Marriage. In today's episode, we address a common marital issue—anger. Often, we blame our spouse for making us angry, creating a cycle of blame and frustration. But here's the truth: it's not our spouse who controls our emotions; it's us.

We dive into how to break this harmful cycle by taking responsibility for our feelings. Understand that your emotions are shaped by your personality, genetics, and past experiences, not by your spouse's actions. Recognize that incidents, not people, incite anger.

Learn practical steps to manage your anger: pause, pray, or take a walk to calm down. Communicate with your spouse without blaming them. Instead of saying, "You make me angry," say, "When this happens, I feel..."

Join us as we explore these insights and offer tools to transform how you handle anger, fostering a loving and peaceful marriage. Tune in to Operation: Thriving Marriage and start building a stronger relationship today!

Ep 64 - Trad Wives

Welcome to Episode 64 of Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we delve into the topic of Trad Wives, exploring what it means to be a Trad Wife, its roots in nostalgia versus scripture, and its impact on modern marriages.

Hosts Bryon and Jen kick off the discussion by questioning the allure of the Trad Wife movement and its representation in today's culture. They dissect the aesthetic versus the practical actions associated with being a Trad Wife, highlighting the unrealistic expectations it can create, especially for young couples.

The episode tackles the roots of the Trad Wife movement, emphasizing its foundation in 1950s marketing rather than biblical truths. It sheds light on how this movement, while not inherently wrong, can lead to shame and dysfunction, particularly for those unable to meet its standards.

Listeners are encouraged to critically evaluate trends that claim to represent biblical truths about marriage. The hosts stress the importance of consulting qualified sources like pastors and theologians rather than relying solely on social media influencers.

The discussion also delves into biblical perspectives on beauty, submission, and marital roles, providing a balanced view that encourages godly character and mutual respect within marriages.

In conclusion, Operation: Thriving Marriage emphasizes the need to align marital practices with biblical principles rather than cultural trends. The episode serves as a guide for couples navigating the complexities of marriage, urging them to seek wisdom from trusted sources and to prioritize their relationship with Christ above all else.

Tune in to gain valuable insights into building a thriving marriage rooted in biblical truth!

Ep 63 - Critical Spouses

Welcome to Episode 63 of Operation: Thriving Marriage! In this episode, we delve into the delicate balance between criticism and growth within marriage. We explore the concept that holiness, not just happiness, is a key goal. First, we address the challenge posed by criticism, often a significant source of conflict in marriages. How can we navigate critiquing our spouse without causing harm?Our solution? Presume goodwill. Regular listeners know this mantra well. Coupled with humility, we delve into Proverbs 16:18, emphasizing the importance of humility in both listening and speaking. Understanding context and maintaining a loving relationship foundation are also crucial elements discussed.Join us as we unpack these essential principles that not only foster growth in holiness but also strengthen the fabric of our marriages. Remember, marriage isn't just about happiness; it's about fulfilling God's vocation for us and aiding each other in becoming more Christ-like. Tune in for practical insights on thriving in both holiness and marital harmony.